New Year pressures

When the year merges into october the topic of discussion slowly turns into new year plans, I i usually squirm. Even when I shrug my shoulders and say ooh!! I plan to sleep this new year, a tiny flutter hopes that i do something, go somewhere, anywhere on new years eve.

I am not a planner, nor is my frinds list very big but, there is an great desire to do something for new years. I have always been insecure that i dont have very many freinds, and the few that i have are now far away, too far away to make plans with So i cant hope to be added by one of the few in any one of thier plans

Its not like i have sat at home all new years, infact I have some spectacular memories of some new years spent at mahabalipuram, bombay, Coorg, new year parties at home, in the US, hyderabad etc. It strangely does not matter whether you had a blast during that time or it was absolutely crappy, but the fact is that I HAD A PLAN, HAD SOMETHING TO DO on new year's eve.

every year the reason for not planning is vast and this year was because all my frinds had moved out of bangalore. it just hit me.. how lonely I have been this past year. intresting that I only found that out when new year approaches Hmmmm.....

It ultimately boils down to the intensity of not wanting to be left out when so many others are making plans and heading out. In fact, This new year almost looked like a "sit at home" new year. In desperation I called loads of my frinds and family (this would be like my annual call) to find out (more like snoop out thier plans and see if i can fit in) about thier plans. I have just come back from australia and I should be contended to sit at home and potter around, its not like I did not have a fair share of excitement during the year end, but whenever new year come up & I dont have any prior plans the pressure builds.

usually angels arrive in various forms and this year it was gayatri, who planned up this last minute dancing trip!! I dont know how she pulls it off but THANK GOD!!! now if someone actually asks me what did you do for new year I can say with a big smile.. oo I went dancing!... and pretend its what i usually do.